Marriage advice from a gardener

March 15, 2010

I’ve been looking at tons of garden blogs for work (trying to get some publicity for one of our upcoming books), and I stumbled upon Garden Rant for the first time today.  And while it’s irreverently funny, I hardly expected to see marriage advice for “disappointed brides everywhere.”  After reading the post, I wasn’t disappointed at all.

According to the New York Times, a newlywed couple in New York is suing their florist for $400,000 for using the wrong color of flowers at their wedding. Dr. Bleedingheart, Garden Rant‘s version of Dear Abby, had plenty to say on the subject. Here’s an excerpt, but you can see more here:

Dear Disappointed Bride,

I know how hard you worked to come up with the perfect color scheme for your wedding, a day that you have no doubt been looking forward to for years.  And it sounds as though you made your wishes perfectly clear in the 200-250 emails you sent the florist. And lord knows, anyone who spends $27,000 on flowers is entitled to get what they want. But are you sure you want a lawsuit to remember your wedding by?  Is this really the best way to start a marriage?

If I could give one wedding present to every couple I saw walk down the aisle, it would be this:  the ability to overlook flaws, forgive mistakes, release grudges, let go of disappointment, and shrug off misfortune.  That may sound like more than one present, but really, it’s all part of the same package.  Let me explain.

You see, you have just agreed to spend the rest of your life with a human being.  And a human being is rather like a flower.  Beautiful at a distance, but get too close and you’ll start to see some flaws.  Crumpled petals.  Little bug bites in the leaves.  A disagreeable odor, perhaps.  Messy pollen dropping on your new tablecloth. (speaking of tablecloths, I checked your gift registry, and may I just say:  well done!  Who knew Vera Wang made shrimp servers?)   And all too soon, that flower fades, and you’re left with the dry, seedy reality.

Your husband will get it wrong all the time.  And so will you. In fact, if you stay married, I guarantee you many long decades of mistakes and misunderstandings.  That’s just part of the deal. So when he comes home with the kung pao chicken after you definitely asked for mu shu pork, you’ve got a choice to make.  You can have a fight, or you can have dinner.

Because in marriage, in life, in the garden, and in the flower shop, you’re not always going to get what you ordered.  When things go wrong, you can handle it with grace, or you can handle it with a lawsuit.

But honey, litigation won’t keep you warm at night.  Just a thought.

Sounds like pretty good advice, no?


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One Response to “Marriage advice from a gardener”


  1. Love it. She must have been the most terrible bride…can you imagine being one of her bridesmaids? Eek. No thanks.

    Great post!


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